Posted: May 7, 2025

In it for the Long Haul

Every New Year I send out cards to former clients to find out how they're doing and remind them that someone out there remembers they're writers and wants to see them keep writing. I think they appreciate this -- this year, one said the card brought tears to her eyes.

I've written before about how writing is hard. A lot of writers -- including many of those who succeed in the end -- have to throw away their first novel the way you have to toss the first pancake. Except that, for writers, it's a pancake you may have poured your heart into for a year or more. And even with the novels that you keep, you're facing some formidable hurdles in the way of breaking into print.

Some of the clients I keep in touch with have published successfully -- novels or series that have collected good reviews and are selling well. But many have run aground on the hardships of the publishing trade. Sometimes, after years of struggle and rejection, they've either deliberately given up or just let other things in their lives sideline their writing. These are often skilled, promising writers, who have a good chance of finding a readership, but the struggle to break into print wears them down.

I don't blame them. Until you actually break into print -- or at least get close to it -- the effort you put into your writing can feel like either an extravagant indulgence or a waste of time. A lot of worthwhile things -- say, learning French or how to play the clarinet -- need you to invest time and effort before they pay off. But with writing, your investment pays off much more slowly. You'll start reading Maigret mysteries in French or playing along with light jazz long before you'll hold your first published book in your hands. And you can be pretty sure that, if you stick with it, you'll eventually master a language or an instrument. Having your book bought by a publisher is an uncertainty right up until it happens.

If you're serious about being a writer, there are things that can help you get through the hard part. One is to focus on all the reasons for writing besides publishing. As I've written before writing puts you in touch with the world, with how people behave, with how their lives unfold. It lets you experience life at a deeper level. Granted, you could do a lot of that without the heartache just by practicing mindfulness, but there's also something fun and satisfying in creating your own worlds.

You could also keep your hand in as a writer in other ways. Writing messages to family and friends or social media posts gives you a chance to exercise your love of language and hone your communication skills. Short stories can offer you more chances to break into print with less investment.

You can also look for a long-term support system, so you won't have to go through the long, lonely stretch alone. This could be a supportive spouse or friend, a community of fellow writers, or an editor who will pester you with a New Year's card every year. There's a slight risk that you might get so involved in, say, logging in to a group to talk about writing or critiquing other writers that you lose track of actually writing. But as long as you're aware of the dangers, surrounding yourself with fellow writers can be more help than distraction.

In the early seventies, psychologists performed what came to be known as The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. In it, a young child was given a marshmallow and told that, if they could hold off on eating it for fifteen minutes, they would be given two. Some children couldn't resist the temptation and ate the one marshmallow right away. But the others recognized the value of delayed gratification and did anything they could to distract themselves -- singing, making up games, even falling asleep. They realized that some rewards are worth waiting for.

If you're in that wilderness where you've been working hard on your writing, remember the two-marshmallow kids. Hold off on giving up. Prepare for the long haul. There's no guarantee that you'll see that second marshmallow, but if it comes, it will be worth it.